Mercy Ministry: "Maria"

By Sydney Gautier

I met Maria the summer of 2015. I was trudging around downtown Indy with a backpack full of water bottles and peanut butter sandwiches ready to give out to people living on the streets. If it hadn't been for the jar of change sitting in front of Maria, I would never have guessed she was homeless. She didn't look much older than me. She had pretty blonde hair and bright blue eyes. As I approached her, she gave me a smile and gladly took the food I offered. I sat down, and we began to talk. That day started a wonderful friendship. Over the past year and a half, I've seen Maria off and on. She can be hard to find on the streets, but when I do find her it's always a joyful reunion. She never wants help, but she always wants prayer. The last time I saw Maria was different though, and it has stuck with me ever since. 

Instead of being greeted with a hug and smile, she buried her face in her hands and began to cry. Her bright blue eyes looked distant and tired, and her hair was thinning. She told me she had just gotten out of jail and had stayed away from drugs while she was there, but living back out on the streets had quickly thrown her into her old habits. I invited her to New Circle, and she expressed interest. She told me how she used to be a Christian and still considered herself one, but she didn't want to go back to church until she had her life together—that she just couldn't go like this. That is what has stuck with me for so long. Since then, I have had this unexplainable desire to tell people how loved they are—not just tell them, but scream it at them so loud they can't ignore it. To tell them how their creator is constantly pursuing them, how there's grace upon grace upon grace. How even in light of all of our sins and bruises and brokenness God looks at us and still fiercely loves us and wants us. How it's not what we do that earns his love, but instead what he did for us. His love is perfect. Even when we waiver and trip and fall and screw up time after time, His love and grace stay completely consistent. How God wants us just as we are, not once we have our lives together or once we feel "good enough" to step back into a church.

Whenever I think of this, I think of Ephesians 1. This is a passage I read almost daily. Just like Maria, we've all felt less than, unimportant, not good enough. But that's just the enemy speaking. In Ephesians, Paul tells us that, as children of God, we are chosen and seen as holy and blameless in his sight, that we have been adopted in sonship through Christ. He calls us forgiven and redeemed through the blood of Christ, and he calls us included in Christ when we heard the message of truth. Even through our struggles and even when we just can't seem to get our lives together he calls us Chosen, Loved, Forgiven, Wanted, Redeemed, and gives us hope in him. It doesn't make sense, but this is grace. 

And as I stood there praying with Maria, tears welled up in my eyes. I wanted so badly for her to see that there is so much grace and that she is so loved. That there is so much hope in Christ and that God doesn't want her to wait, but wants her just as she is. That Christ died so she could live, that’s a lot of love, more than we could possibly imagine.

You are so loved.

Advent - Charity Suffereth Long

By Jacob Butts

For us, Advent is a time of remembering. It is a time of waiting in expectation, or a word I'd like to think has more weight: hope. It is a reminder to us that waiting is a part of life, and while it can seem frustrating, the pain, suffering, and injustice that comes along with it ultimately will never last. Its evil reign will end. For God is good in ways we cannot comprehend. He will have complete justice.

If anyone has gotten to know me in the past year you would have heard me complain about something. For some closer to me, you heard something new every week. For that I greatly apologize. This was one of the worst years of my life. I dealt with physical, mental, and emotional pain, and this is all an understatement.

I don’t say this to be prideful but to point out a fundamental truth: suffering is real and it really sucks. By extension, suffering in waiting is also real and painful.

Therefore, if God is good and He is just, and if He has proven Himself as good and just time and again, then I must trust He will still be good and just when things go wrong. When I call out to Him in suffering and He doesn’t answer immediately, then He has either called me to something and I have disobeyed and He waits until I obey. 

Or the answer is no or not yet... wait.

I believe my frustrations stem from both, but chiefly the latter: "wait". For if I know I was called to Indy (a long story I'd be glad to tell anyone) and if I know God is good, then my present suffering is the in-between, and it cannot be the resolution. No, He will not leave us here. Even if we pass away He will still bring us back. Nothing will separate us from Him.

There are a couple verses in 1 Corinthinans 13 that are usually associated with marriage, but in fact, it was Paul's response to a church in Corinth who were disobeying the teachings of Jesus. Paul listed these attributes to say, "be like Jesus in this way:" The NIV translation goes like this:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

What should be noted is the last and often forgotten attribute of Jesus: always perseveres (or endures). I recently discovered the King James translation of that attribute, "Charity suffereth long.” I personally find this translation to be more accurate. Charity was a word in our English language we once used to describe a person's (or God's) unconditional and generous love. Charity is not just patient, kind, and generous, but it suffers long. It knows waiting and suffering can be one and the same. Sometimes I wonder if the question is not why am I suffering, but can I suffer well? Can I suffereth long?

Then how do we suffer well? I believe the answer is in the advent: Hope.

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! Godʼs dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Revelation 21:3-5 NIV

God is good. He is coming again to make all things new. Take hope in that, brothers and sisters.

Advent - An Orientation of the Heart

By Samantha Wittgen

Personality tests flatter me, calling me a “Protagonist,” meaning that I am often both proactive and hopeful—the helper in a story or conflict. Off-screen, I know what that means: I am enticed by the idea that things could be better.  I wait, assuming that in the future when I have that car-job-house-relationship-family-financial-status-redemption, I will be more satisfied.  

Merriam-Webster defines waiting as “staying in a place in expectation; looking forward expectantly.”  The Hebrew word for wait, qavah, means “the tension of enduring; to look eagerly.” These two definitions speak to the essence of waiting. It includes eagerness and expectation, a forward focus while staying in the current position for a time.  Waiting, although uncomfortable, is not bad. It is simply an orientation of our hearts and thoughts.

Qavah. I remember this summer waiting for a job.

Qavah. I have friends hopefully, expectantly, desirously waiting to have a child. 

Qavah. People are waiting for phone calls, answers that may never come.

Qavah. There are entire communities waiting to be heard, waiting for justice.

Richard Rohr, priest and author, speaks about waiting, calling our position in waiting liminal space, which he defines as,

“a unique spiritual position where human beings hate to be but where the biblical God is always leading them.  It is when you have left the tried and true, but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else.  It is when you are finally out of the way.  It is when you are between your old comfort zone and any possible new answer.”

Your story of waiting may include doubt, patience, anger, or joy. In this place, this liminal space, this qavah, I hope you can cling to the promise that God remains with you. As we continue walking together through the season of Advent, the season of confidently waiting for the celebration of Jesus’ birth, my hope is that we will also confidently orient our hearts towards Truth. Let’s be people who eagerly await Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.

Advent - Matthew 1

By Evan Johnson

The book of the genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of Abraham.

We have the tendency to skip over the genealogies in the Bible. It’s understandable. We all do it. However, what we miss (especially in the case of Matthew 1) is God declaring who he is from the get-go. In verse 1, Jesus is identified as the son of David, the son of Abraham. This identifies that Jesus can trace back his lineage to David, and therefore Abraham. Think about who these two men were.

Abraham was the father of the Jewish people. God promised Abraham that his offspring would be a blessing to the nations, that his descendants would be as numerous as the starts, and it would all start with a son. Abraham and Sarah laughed at the idea that they could have children. God assured them nonetheless that they would have a child named Isaac. Instead, Abraham and Sarah use a servant girl named Hagar to have their child, and they name him Ishmael. God rebukes them, and because of their sin, Hagar and Ishmael are exiled from the nation of Israel. However, God still gives them Isaac. Abraham, a man who caused a woman and her child to be displaced, was still awarded with the promise of God. This is because the fulfilling of the promises of God are not contingent upon the tenacity of our faith. I cannot get my head around this for the life of me.

David is probably the most famously infamous person in the Bible. Consumed with lustful envy, David had an affair with the wife of one of his generals. When he got Bethsheba pregnant, he had to disguise his sin, so he called Urriah home to his wife on furlough. He thought surely a war-weary general will want to spend the night with his wife. Instead, Urriah was troubled for his soldiers and spent the entire night outside. He deemed himself unworthy of a bed if he wasn’t fighting alongside his men. Then, David ordered that in the next battle, Urriah should go to the front line. As soon as the battle starts though, all of the soldiers are to fall back, leaving Urriah alone to fight the enemy. Urriah was slaughtered, and David had his wife. 

David’s sin resulted in a miscarriage. Understand me. I’m not saying that miscarriages are a result of someone’s sin. I am saying though that in this particular point in history, Bethsheba miscarried because of David’s murderous jealousy. Regardless, Bethsheba would have another child named Solomon. David did not rule over a united nation, but his son Solomon would. Under Solomon, Israel would experience unfathomable peace and riches. Furthermore, God promised David that a king would sit on his throne forever.

In Matthew 1, that king is on his way. Matthew calls us to remember the faithfulness of God to Abraham, despite Abraham’s sin and disobedience. The fulfilling of God’s covenant with David is about to come true.

This Advent season, let’s celebrate that Christ has come, regardless of our circumstances. He loves, regardless of our past and present. He won't leave us, regardless of our future.

Thankful for Beauty

By Micha Kandal

Friends, 

Today, I encourage you to think about why this day is good, whatever “good” means to you—whether it be joy or contentment or simply an extra moment to breathe. I encourage you to do this because I don’t think we reflect on this often enough. I want you to know that my intention isn’t to give you another box to check off of your to-do list, or for this question to serve as a median of conviction. My intention is just a reminder, one that has changed my view on what’s good and how there is such truth and power in recognizing the good things. 

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with Samantha (dear friend and roommate), and I’m still thinking about it. Maybe it’s because I overanalyze all things, but this spontaneous conversation was too real not to share. It began with me venting all of my frustration, about my life and specifically how it doesn’t look like I thought it would at this point in time. I was justifying why I thought it was okay to be annoyed with God and why I thought I had the right to essentially demand the changes I thought I wanted. I’ve been in this season of waiting, a season I’m very familiar with—waiting to graduate, for a relationship, for connections with administrators for job offers, for fall to actually get here, to feel content. A considerable amount of waiting. 

(To compliment this season with my negative attitude, I was also treating my relationship with God like a formula. I was praying prayers of contentment and reading scripture that seemed like it applied to seasons of waiting, yet I woke up each day more frustrated and discouraged.)

It was after my rant that Sam asked, “Why don’t you just focus on something else? What if instead of thinking about what you don’t have or what you want, you focus on being thankful.” 

Mind blown. 

This idea didn’t even cross my mind. Yet Jesus directly spoke through Sam in that spontaneous-angst-filled conversation to open my eyes. I love when He does that. As a black and white thinker, those clear concise moments of instruction are total blessings, ones I rarely deserve.

So moving forward, in the weeks following that conversation, I began writing down why I was grateful. Having no idea where to even begin, my observations of gratitude varied from “thanks for coffee” to “God you are SO good, and the ways you provided for me in that random moment completely blows me away.” 

I also started reading Psalm 143, specifically meditating on verses 4 & 5 which says, “So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.” 

The combination of spending intentional time in scripture and honestly praying what I was actually feeling, resulted in a change that shifted my heart. My relationship with God started to feel more like an actual relationship. I began to subtly notice the shift of my thoughts and how dwelling on the wants and desires became less. Slowly, seeing the joy in the mundane and noticing things to celebrate each day became easier and more life-giving. 

Along with this change, comes my new responsibility in my relationship with God. A responsibility that requires honest conversations and moments of listening. Since I started this habit of being aware of what I’m grateful for, I have experienced true and genuine joy. I know this isn’t a coincidence because 1.) I don’t believe in those, and 2.) I’m still in a season of waiting, for all of the same things I mentioned before. God has completely transformed my way of viewing each day, simply because I let Him. I’m still learning how to see the beauty in everyday, but I’m also learning to love searching for it. 

I encourage you to look for the beauty, the good, the things to be grateful for. It might be the hardest thing you’ve done this year, or maybe it’s just a new perspective to use. Regardless of your circumstances, I encourage you to do your own searching for the beauty and for the things to be grateful for. I ask you this because I believe with my whole heart that your joy is waiting. 

Humbled and still learning, 

Micha

I'm Thankful for Psalm 37:4

By Danny Tippit

Psalm 37:4 has to be right up there as being one of the most misunderstood verses in the bible. Here is what is says in the New King James Version…

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

So what do you think when you read that? Emphasis on ‘your heart?’ I know for me in my early days as a Christian when this verse came across my path it told me that God will grant me what I desire. Somewhat like a genie, right? Not so much. Many, many, many years later God has helped me understand what being a disciple of Christ really entails and how desire plays a part in our lives.

Back during the early New Testament days, a disciple was someone who would reflect who their teacher was through their actions, words, pursuits, and, in general, their life (basically a biblical ‘mini-me’). Maybe a little raw in terminology, but seriously, the major Rabbis of the day would pour into their students and those students would absorb and then emulate their teacher. Mathete, the Greek word for disciple, originates from the verb manthano, which means ‘to be in the practice of.’ Jesus may have chosen people, but he produced practitioners of the habits he modeled, a.k.a. disciples. Jesus taught that being a disciple was about symptomatic action overflowing from the heart. He didn’t just want to teach them some great things that they already knew from Jewish scriptures. He knew that one day his very Spirit would dwell inside his followers. He wanted to invade them.

So how does that affect us? Going back to Psalm 37:4 let me read it from the Message version: “Keep company with God. Get in on the best.” How does this change things? First, those desires that are mentioned are not our desires. God desires something better and he wants to share those. Second, he doesn’t want those desires to be something that just meanders in and alongside your desires. Even better, he wants to replace your desires with his. At the very least, he wants to give your current desires more foundation in him.

What I am thankful for is this verse and its meaning is that God has taken my old desires—some good, some not so good—and he has revamped them with a God-centered source. He has taken those fleshly desires away and replaced them with His very own desires. Without rewriting the Bible, let me reword Psalm 37:4 this way, “God wants to spend time with you so you can get to know him and what his desires are for you and your life and how those desires will delight you and fulfill His plan for your life. Then from what flows out of your heart’s desire that is rooted in God will come to fruition.” Oh, how thankful I am for a loving and caring God. Thank you for bringing alignment to the desires in my heart, that my passion is founded in Christ and my drive is energized by your grace!

I'm Thankful for Community

By Kirsten Sidebottom

The story of how I got connected to Barry and Amy Rager and the start of New Circle is a time that I will always look back on filled with a grateful heart. 

It was February 2013 when I first wandered up the escalators of IUPUI’s campus center to try out this bible study (aka community group) “with a pastor from Kentucky,” which is quite literally how this invitation was pitched to me.

Backing up a bit, I truly started following the person of Jesus in fall of 2011. When this happened, I initially attended a lovely church in Indy for about the first year of college (2011-2012). But I felt like that wasn’t where God wanted me. I knew there had to be somewhere specific for me, so I church hopped for about 6 months and never really found a place where I felt like I belonged. Honestly, I attended a number of really awesome churches throughout the city, but since I mostly attended these services by myself, I would often walk in and walk out untouched and unnoticed. Even though I enjoyed these different places, I never knew how to get connected. After attending the same churches over and over again and never being invited into a deeper community, I became a little disheartened. I didn’t have the language for it at the time, but what I was really searching for (and what God was calling me to) was community and the sense of knowing and being known by others.

The first time coming up the escalator at IUPUI to try out community group was a monumental experience for me. I scanned the room and saw the Rager children playing games. I saw who I’d soon learn to be Barry and Amy. Just them. I was fifteen minutes early, and no one else was there. Only me and two, well six, strangers.

My mind flashed back to all those other times I’d gone unnoticed in the sea of people. I made eye contact with Amy, and she immediately smiled and introduced herself. I met Barry too and they began asking me about myself. This felt different. These people actually cared to know who I was. My soul felt a relief it had never felt before. In an instant, my fears of being isolated and disregarded had been silenced as their care, appreciation and love swept over me.

That night, I knew the Lord was blessing me immensely. I had no idea what all was in store for New Circle and what was in store for me at this church. But I knew I had just found gold from the Lord. The gratitude I have for my journey to New Circle and knowing Barry and Amy is soul deep. I wouldn’t know God the way I do today if I hadn’t given community group a try. I wouldn’t have the friends I have if I hadn’t met Barry and Amy. I wouldn’t be who I am today if Barry and Amy never followed God to plant New Circle in Indy. God is so good to me.

Humility in Gratitude

By Evan Johnson

One of the most exciting things I get to do is preaching in front of a group of people. Even if it’s just public speaking, I don’t possess that fear. It’s just natural for me. However, since there’s a spiritual attachment to preaching, there’s just something truly special about it. Yet realizing that heaviness that goes along with publicly communicating the Word of God, for a long time I would tell people it was God and “not me.” To encourage me as a young aspiring preacher, I would hear that my sermon was really good. Hearing that, I refused to express gratitude. I refused to say “thank you.” In my eyes, I would be taking credit for God’s Word. 

This went on for a while until a friend of mine took me aside and told me to get over myself and just say, “thank you.” It had never occurred to me that I was robbing other people of serving me. They wanted to express support for me as a young (sometimes stupid) pastor-in-training. Their support was a means of serving me emotionally, and I was blocking them. I was hindering the Spirit from moving me forward. I was not letting them serving me spiritually. I was not letting them build me up as a brother in Christ.

Showing gratitude towards others is a staple of the Christian life. Here are just [number] ways gratitude is intertwined with living like Christ:

Showing gratitude reminds us that service is not about us. We can get caught up in thinking only about ourselves in our service in two ways: we either focus on how much we’re serving or how others deserve to be serving us. As Christians, the former is usually more likely. Regardless, showing gratitude for encouragement reminds us that we do what we do as Christians not because it’s about us. It’s about the people around us. Hearing the people around us encourage us reminds us of that.

Showing gratitude is a discipline of humility. Humility is both an attitude and a discipline, and it is an attitude that is only formed out of discipline. Humbling ourselves to show gratitude reminds us that we cannot do life alone. Everyone wants to feel validated in their accomplishments as well as their struggles. Being humble enough to express thankfulness to a friend who is there in a hard time or to express gratitude for a compliment after a public speaking venture forces us to take the spotlight off of us. It forces us to focus on how great they are for seeing our struggles or talents.

Humbling ourselves in expressing gratitude shows that we’re letting the Spirit work in our lives. As said before, showing gratitude towards others is a staple of the Christian life. I’m not of the theological persuasion that when Peter passed the bread of life to John at Passover that when John thanked him, Peter said, “No, no, no, no, no. This isn’t me. This is God. I don’t deserve credit for being able to pass this bread to you.” Humbling ourselves to show gratitude frees us from any Christianese barriers we set up for others to think that we’re incredible armchair theologians.

The wheel of salvation turns on the axle of thankfulness. We are thankful that God has saved us. In our thankfulness, we know that it is because of what Christ has done and not us. This does not change our attitude of gratefulness. This needs to bleed into the rest of our life and our daily interactions. We know that God shines through our hearts of servitude. Being thankful of others’ building us up is just as much a testimony to Jesus’ greatness as a novella-long explanation of the Gospel. It shows one of the ultimate characteristics of Jesus: humility.